Sunday, May 10, 2015

Cheese-its and Gatorade: My First Heartbreak

The mirror had a gold frame. Not the thick, cheap kind; this was delicate, lovely, like it was woven together with gold thread from the spindle wheel of Rumpelstiltskin. That is what my 4-year-old mind thought anyway as I stood alone in the large, pallid room examining the garnish. The rest of the room was empty, except the beat-up mattress on the floor. There were a few boxes full of old pictures that sat in the hallway downstairs—what was left of our belongings after the violent house fire a few weeks before. The rest of the new house was like the room with the mirror—empty. It didn’t feel like that though. Especially at night. My two sisters, my two brothers, and I squeezed on the old mattress beside my mom—the five of us and her—as she read us stories by candlelight. The electricity hadn’t been turned on yet, but that didn’t matter to me. Her rich, steady voice seemed to chase away the shadows and blanket us with warmth.

I didn’t worry about much when Mom was close by.

Then I was six and we were somewhere new. A new state, a new life, a new home. This one had large holes in the walls and cold concrete floors. Dying grass and a stooped, mourning willow tree decorated the chipped and faded pink brick exterior. I heard the kid behind me on the field trip bus refer to my home as “The Dump” as we sped by one day. I left for a summer to visit my dad and when I returned the holes were gone and the walls were filled and painted over with pretty yellow and mint green diamonds. The spongy, textured kind that takes lots of time and concentration. The floors had soft rugs and there was a garden outside. Around a much happier willow tree and tucked safely behind a small, hand-crafted stone wall lay a bed of mulch with soft, fuzzy lamb’s ear and chive plants growing inside. Prolific tulip bulbs lined the side of our home springing forth velvety pinks and reds; the vines that engulfed the front entrance were trimmed back to reveal vibrant trumpet flowers of oranges and fuchsias. The hummingbirds loved those and ceaselessly danced around them. The vibrating rhythmic pulse of their wings was but a quiet lull to the songs my mom hummed to herself as she fixed, planted, and scrubbed away.

Mom made everything beautiful.

Then I was eleven and we were in Quincy, Illinois. I asked my mom why this remote little town? She said, “it feels right.” That was always her answer. Even if it meant driving across the country in a 1996 Buick with the clicky clack of a small, makeshift trailer bumping behind. We knew the house when we saw it: tiny, baby yellow and perfect. Rays of sunshine peaked through the tall oak tree out front and the lop-sided “For Rent” sign stood near the peaceful road, like it was waiting just for us. After we settled in, the doors were always open. My mom let in the most peculiar of people. Brandi was one girl. She had boney shoulders, big eyes, and fidgety hands. She was pregnant and alone; her husband was serving overseas in Iraq. When I asked why Brandi was at our home Mom took me aside, crouched down so she was eye to eye with me, and replied,
“She needs a friend”
“Where did you meet her?”
“At the grocery store”
“But how did you know to talk to her?”
“I just…I just felt I should….it feels right.”

Mom had special Mom-senses for helping people; sometimes I wondered if she was an angel in disguise.

It was December later that year. We were at church. My Sunday school teacher was sick so my mom filled in to teach the class. It was right before Christmas so the lesson was on the birth of Jesus Christ. Mom brought in a baby; she borrowed him from a friend. He was fat, bald, and looked like an alien. He sat upright in his rocker with his blue bug-eyes staring at our class of six as my mom began speaking. She told us God loved us all so much He sent His Son to come to earth. He—the King of Kings, the greatest of all—would be born in poverty with farm animals for company and straw for a bed.
She gestured to the bemused infant on display and softly said, “Imagine, all that love, all that glory…in a small baby who came to save us all.”
She had tears in her eyes. They were beautiful tears. My heart felt still like a gentle spring rain or a vast starry night. I knew she loved Him. This Jesus. She knew Him, and loved Him. Not in a faint or superficial kind of way. But in the most sorrowful and exquisite kind of way. It pierced my heart and I knew my life would never really feel full until I sought this Savior out for myself.  That day my mom endowed me with something of incomparable worth—faith in Christ, The Lord.

Mom gave the best gifts.

Seasons passed. The busy, self-centeredness of adolescence replaced the naïveté of youth. I began to notice more about my mom. I was too preoccupied with after-school theater programs or sports to really care, but I noticed.

Her clothes were battered hand-me-downs of my sister and mine.

She walked everywhere to save money on gas. Then tucked away what was saved so we could afford a Christmas tree or groceries.

Her eyes said, “I’m sorry” a lot. Like when I asked her if I could buy a pair of pants while looking around in The Salvation Army store. They were on the $4 rack. She said to find something on the $1 rack. I picked out a belt.

She became really tired sometimes. Like so exhausted she couldn’t move. Her health was not so great back then. Sometimes we were in public places and she needed help walking. Her arm around my shoulder and her weight on mine, we hobbled along. (That one was hardest to ignore).

She made dinner every night. Often sautéed green beans and ground turkey. I love green beans. I gobbled happily away trying not to notice that she was always the last one to eat…if she did eat.

One time I walked into her room when it was dark. She was on her knees by her bedside with her arms folded in prayer. Feeling the reverence in the room I quickly closed the door. But not before I saw her body trembling and heard quiet sobs. (These tears were not the beautiful kind.) I didn’t really understand why she was crying. I didn’t understand the weight of a parent, especially a single parent. But I felt sad for her. It was the same sad feeling I experienced in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Stone when Harry stumbles across the dying unicorn in the forbidden forest. Alone in the silvery moonlight he witnesses the suffering of something so pure, so majestic—it leaves a different type of scar on him. But as quickly as I turned the page to unravel the looming scheme of a surreptitious Snape, I hurried off to play rehearsal…and my bleeding unicorn was pushed to the back of my mind.

Finally I was sixteen and on my way to an out-of-town tennis tournament (my first one as a varsity athlete!). Before I hopped in the white twelve-seated van I stopped at the principal’s office. The intercom announced there was a package waiting for me. No one ever left me anything—I wondered what it could be! Curiously, I picked up the grocery bag and kept it tightly shut until I squeezed my way into the back corner of the van. I untied the crinkly bag. Inside was a box of Cheese-Its (not the cheap, off-brand kind but the expensive yummy stuff) and a big bottle of Gatorade with a note: “Good luck Rachael. I love you. –Mom”

That did it. Everything I “noticed” over the years but never really internalized hit me in that moment. That is when it happened. 

 My heart. It broke. I felt it sink and tear apart in my chest.

A wave of love so strong and so powerful entered I could not physically bear it. This love was the reason behind every sacrifice and every tear, the reason she gave all she had and still when she had nothing—literally nothing left to give—she found some way to keep giving. That is the love of a mother. MY mother. I turned my head towards the window so my teammates wouldn’t notice the tears streaming down my face. I hugged the Cheese-It box close to my heart and whispered almost inaudibly, with all the earnestness of my soul, “Thank You Heavenly Father…Thank You for giving me Mom.”

Now I’m grown up. And far away. But I see her every day. In the way the corners of my eyes wrinkle when I smile. The way I laugh so hard and keel over so no sound comes out. The way I pray when I’m by myself. The way I hug. The way I see beauty. The way I dream. The way I suffer. The way I believe. All that is just a reflection of her. And she, through refining fire and soul bending, is just a reflection of Jesus Christ. Maybe if I try to be more like her, I’ll end up a little more like Him.  

…That feels right...


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